a journal entry at 2 am

tonight, i've been making lists.  

i take after my mom.  when i was little she would stay up very very late at night.  for all i know that could have only been 10 o'clock but i have a feeling it was more like midnight.  i would always want to stay up late with her but instead she would tuck me into bed.  my mom and dad each taking turns reading to me until i couldn't keep my eye lids open any more.  and then.  to my great demise, i would fall asleep. 

i think i was comforted by my mom's night owl-ness.  i always knew if monsters woke me up, or my tummy rumbled me into alertness the hallway light would be on.  i could crawl out of bed, out into the brightness, and follow the lights.  they would always lead me to my mom.  sometimes, she was cleaning out the living room closet.  other times studying with big big books on the kitchen table.  when i told her i wanted to stay up all night with her, she would always look at me and smile and say: tiffany, you would get so so tired if you stayed up all night long.  and, this time is my time for myself.  when you sleep, then i get all the things done that i need to do just for me.

i should be in bed. 

it's nearly 2 am.  

but instead, i'm making lists.  and the lists are overwhelming.  with a smile i think:  probably overwhelming because i am so tired.   

things to do on tuesday:

-run. (added in after the list was made but put to the top).

-sit.  (entered in with some dismay.  i repeat to myself:  if only i had a routine.  sitting is so hard without a routine.  i was so good when i had repetition in my life.  that was nearly 2 years ago now)

-call ACE muffler and make an appointment to get my muffler changed.

-call tandem and ask about getting my coolant flushed.

-call marine to make plans for wednesday.

-call each of the following people about wednesday drinks downtown....(no wait, that will take hours.  how about....)

*send out an email about drinks downtown on monday and send text messages to follow up.  (phone calls are so much better.  and i have been so out of touch....such is life i suppose.)

-make arrangement to see bike in bucktown in late afternoon.

-call john in seattle about apartment.

-search craigslist again for bike and apartment and art studio.

-look up requirements for goat island again.  (i need to compile my portfolio.  why is it so hard to focus on that here.)

-get TAXES DONE (before timo arrives!!!!  this would be a lame thing to do with him here)

-pack up all the things in the family room.  (think small and less!!  damn all those art supplies)

things to pick up from dads:

-previous portfolios (slides, videos, hard drives, fire proof box...((that damn box is going to take up sooo much room in my car!)

-book making/drawing papers

-water proof birks

-wall hangings.

-mortar and pestle

-pottery mugs

other items to consider packing:

-lamps? (i could just buy a bunch when i know what kind of apartment i'll have.  i wish i knew what kind of apartment i'll have.)

-plants? (will they die in the car in colorado?  maybe i could just bring starters)

-bedding

-books.

-PACK UP BOOKS AND ART DVDs.

after all this list making, i got overwhelmed and went into my studio and packed up all my jewelry making supplies.  

all i feel like i EVER do is:  PACK AND MOVE!!!  

but really, when i take a step back, i know that my relationship with packing and moving is bittersweet.  i have liked my two years of packing and moving.  i have really loved my year of packing and moving around!  i have really loved my year of packing and moving.  i have met so many people i love.  i have experienced places!  i curse now.  and laugh, hard.  i feel like i LIVE!  

now, i'm really excited to live in one place, in one neighborhood, in one city, maybe even for one whole year, with one fellow!  

i am moving to seattle.

and, going to bed. 

good night.