a journal entry at 2 am

tonight, i've been making lists.  

i take after my mom.  when i was little she would stay up very very late at night.  for all i know that could have only been 10 o'clock but i have a feeling it was more like midnight.  i would always want to stay up late with her but instead she would tuck me into bed.  my mom and dad each taking turns reading to me until i couldn't keep my eye lids open any more.  and then.  to my great demise, i would fall asleep. 

i think i was comforted by my mom's night owl-ness.  i always knew if monsters woke me up, or my tummy rumbled me into alertness the hallway light would be on.  i could crawl out of bed, out into the brightness, and follow the lights.  they would always lead me to my mom.  sometimes, she was cleaning out the living room closet.  other times studying with big big books on the kitchen table.  when i told her i wanted to stay up all night with her, she would always look at me and smile and say: tiffany, you would get so so tired if you stayed up all night long.  and, this time is my time for myself.  when you sleep, then i get all the things done that i need to do just for me.

i should be in bed. 

it's nearly 2 am.  

but instead, i'm making lists.  and the lists are overwhelming.  with a smile i think:  probably overwhelming because i am so tired.   

things to do on tuesday:

-run. (added in after the list was made but put to the top).

-sit.  (entered in with some dismay.  i repeat to myself:  if only i had a routine.  sitting is so hard without a routine.  i was so good when i had repetition in my life.  that was nearly 2 years ago now)

-call ACE muffler and make an appointment to get my muffler changed.

-call tandem and ask about getting my coolant flushed.

-call marine to make plans for wednesday.

-call each of the following people about wednesday drinks downtown....(no wait, that will take hours.  how about....)

*send out an email about drinks downtown on monday and send text messages to follow up.  (phone calls are so much better.  and i have been so out of touch....such is life i suppose.)

-make arrangement to see bike in bucktown in late afternoon.

-call john in seattle about apartment.

-search craigslist again for bike and apartment and art studio.

-look up requirements for goat island again.  (i need to compile my portfolio.  why is it so hard to focus on that here.)

-get TAXES DONE (before timo arrives!!!!  this would be a lame thing to do with him here)

-pack up all the things in the family room.  (think small and less!!  damn all those art supplies)

things to pick up from dads:

-previous portfolios (slides, videos, hard drives, fire proof box...((that damn box is going to take up sooo much room in my car!)

-book making/drawing papers

-water proof birks

-wall hangings.

-mortar and pestle

-pottery mugs

other items to consider packing:

-lamps? (i could just buy a bunch when i know what kind of apartment i'll have.  i wish i knew what kind of apartment i'll have.)

-plants? (will they die in the car in colorado?  maybe i could just bring starters)

-bedding

-books.

-PACK UP BOOKS AND ART DVDs.

after all this list making, i got overwhelmed and went into my studio and packed up all my jewelry making supplies.  

all i feel like i EVER do is:  PACK AND MOVE!!!  

but really, when i take a step back, i know that my relationship with packing and moving is bittersweet.  i have liked my two years of packing and moving.  i have really loved my year of packing and moving around!  i have really loved my year of packing and moving.  i have met so many people i love.  i have experienced places!  i curse now.  and laugh, hard.  i feel like i LIVE!  

now, i'm really excited to live in one place, in one neighborhood, in one city, maybe even for one whole year, with one fellow!  

i am moving to seattle.

and, going to bed. 

good night.

2nd Graders Question the Antarctic

I got an email from Mary, a 2nd grade classroom teacher from my hometown in Iowa last week. She had been in contact with my mom, curious to know if I would take my brother's previous role of answering her classes questions about Antarctica.

When I got the list of questions, I felt so giddy to answer them. These students curiousity is really exciting! So exciting in fact that I decided to share their questions and my answers with you!

Enjoy.

....................

I feel honored to answer all these great questions:


First let me begin by sharing a photo of myself and telling you where I am in Antartica.



As Mary may have told you, my brother, Tim, has also
been to Antarctica many times, but we both live on stations very far
apart. Tim lived in Palmer Station, a US Research base off the coast
of Chili. Palmer Station is the smallest of the United State's three
stations in Antarctica. Only 35 to 40 people live at Palmer in the
Austral Summer. In order to get to Palmer, Tim would sail on a ship
across very very rough seas for 4 days. Palmer is located on a
peninsula of land which is surround by liquid water year round.

However, I live in McMurdo Station. McMurdo is the US's largest
research station with a population of over 1,000 people in the height
of our Austral Summer.



McMurdo is nearly 2,500 miles from Palmer and
is located off the coast of New Zealand. At the majority of the year
all of the ocean surrounding Antarctica is frozen. In order to get
here, I fly on a huge C-17 Air force Jet that lands out on the frozen
ocean just off station. Our flight is only 5 hours long.

Makiaya: Why are you in Antarctica?

Initially, I came to Antarctica because I wanted an adventure. Very
few people get to come to Antarctica and the photos my brother showed
me were amazing! I am an artist. I studied at the School of the Art
Institute in Chicago. I thought this place would be an artistic
inspiration for me.

But this is my second season here. Last year I came for the
adventure. This year I came for the people here. My community
consists of hundreds of very smart multi-talented adventurers. I can
sit at the dinner table in our galley with a Nobel Peace Prize winner,
a fellow artist who drives fork lifts, a writer who stocks the kitchen shelves and a Harvard scientist studying global warming. All of us have so much fun together.




Another reason that I returned to Antarctica is because my job here pays me very well, and there aren't many places to spent that money. This allows me to save money so that I can travel the world and when I return home to the states I can live and work as an artist for a few months and not have to have a 2nd job. It's a very good situation for me.

Kylie: What do you live in?

I live in a dorm building that looks just like many buildings back in
the states. It is two stories high with white siding and a brown
roof.

In this photo, the row of buildings closest are all dorms.

Inside there a long hallway with blue carpet and many blue
doors. Each blue door is the entry to a bedroom or a bathroom. All
the rooms are very very small with one window, two beds, two
wardrobes, a refrigerator, and a desk. My roommate, Genevieve, and I
also brought lots of decorations for our room. We have a red rug.
Colorful bed covers, photos for our walls, framed pictures of our
families, Christmas lights, and lots of fake plants. Where we live,
no botanical plants can grow. The ground is lava rock and snow. So,
the fake plants remind us of living green things at home! Like Trees!

Her is a (not so great) photo of my room before Genevieve and I hung up poster and put our flowers on our bed stand.


Karissa: What do you eat there?

We eat LOTS of different food here. Most of our food is dried,
frozen, or canned food, like frozen beef, rice and pasta and red
sauce! But the cooks are pretty skilled and can make it tasty.
Sometimes they make Indian food, or Thai curries, or even Mexican.

We also eat some fresh fruits and fresh vegetables which we call
"freshies". Freshies are a cherished food here on the ice and are
shipped to McMurdo from New Zealand. Do you know what kinds of foods
grow in New Zealand. Have you looked at the apple in your
refrigerator. It may have been grown in New Zealand! Lots of fresh
fruits and vegetables that we eat in the states come from New Zealand
and we eat some of those same foods. Personally, I am really excited
when we have fresh papaya. And on Christmas we had MANGOS AND
STRAWBERRIES, those are very very rare down here.

Angelo: How warm does it get there in the summer?

McMurdo is actually very warm here during the summer. When I arrived
in August (that is the end of the winter) it was (with wind chill
included) as cold as -45 below zero! But now, in January, it's often
warmer than it is in IOWA!! Last week it got as warm as 38 degrees!
I love to go for runs outside when the weather is that beautiful.
*grin* And if there is no wind, some folks will go lay outside in
shorts and tee shirts. I think they are crazy, I still need a coat
and hat.

Connor: How thick is the ice?

The frozen ocean ice around McMurdo is very think in certain places.
The thickest part is called the Ross Ice Shelf. It's located 5 miles
off station and remains permanently frozen year round. The Ross Ice
Shelf consists of packed snow and ice that is up to 40 METERS thick!
That is nearly 40 football fields deep and that snow and ice floats on
80 meters of liquid ocean below!

The thinner ice is the ice just off station. During the early months
of our summer (October and November) this ice is only 6 meters thick
but is very strong. Strong enough that a HUGE C17 can land on it.
Amazing huh?

But then in early December this ice quickly starts to
melt and when it does we start to see seals and penguins from the
land.

Then a big Russian Ice Breaker, which will should be arriving
at McMurdo any day now, will break away all the ice and it will be
liquid water with whales. This is a very exciting time of year here.

The ship has not yet arrived on station but here are some photos from last season with the ships in the pier. Last season, the United States Coast Guard also took us out on a ride down the channel. It was amazing. Here are some photos from that too!





Hannah: How cold does it get there?

Well, in the winter it can get very very cold. I just called our
McMurdo Weather observer and they told me that the coldest temperature
in the winter (NOT including wind chill) is -47 degrees F. That cold.
And it's completely dark for a few months too. My room mate is
staying for the winter. I don't know if that appeals to me!

Jessie: Do people ever die on the ships from South America to Antarctica?

You know Jessie, I have to be honest, I don't know. From what my
brother tells me the ships are very very safe and everyone has to take
great per-caution. However, I am sure that accidents do happen and
people get hurt.

Jaycie: What did you have to pack to take with you to go to Antarctica?

When I come to Antarctic I pack many many things. I usually take a
lot of very warm sweaters and long sleeve shirts, long underwear,
jeans, carharts (carharts are part of the wardrobe down here) and a
couple warm hats and scarfs. Oh, and LOTS of socks. I have many many
pairs of warm wool socks. Some with stripes and other with poka dots.
I like socks. And then a couple of nice outfits to wear for holiday
dinners.

I also bring lots of things that you would never expect that I bring
down here. For example, as an artist I make videos and sound pieces
and LOTS of jewelry which I sell at our holiday art sale. So I bring
rolls of sterling wire, pliers, good scissors, nice water colors and
drawing pencils, fancy paper, my computer, a video camera, and a
digital camera. Then I make sure to have good books to read during my
free time. AND, I also like to pack my favorite foods. We only have
one store here and it has very very limited things to buy. They don't
have much dark chocolate which is my favorite, and crystallized
ginger. I like that too!

Then in addition to all of those things, when I reach Christchurch, NZ
the company I work for issues us "Emergency Cold Weather Gear" which I
wear all the time when the weather is really cold.

Here is a photo of me when it's -35 degrees outside. I am geared UP!


Our Emergency Cold Weather gear includes a HUGE big red down jacket, snow pants, big bear claw mittens that go all the way up to my elbows, really heavy big blue boots (they
look like boots you wear on the moon!) and more long underwear and
socks. We come very well prepared and our luggage is HEAVY.

In this photo my friend Susan is sporting our big fury BIG RED hood. It's so cold that her breath is building up as frost on her eye lashes!

Kyra: What do you do for fun in Antarctica?

Well Kyra, we do sooooo many things for fun that I don't even know
where to start. In fact, at McMurdo we have a whole team of 6 people
whose only job is to plan recreational activities.

There are many outdoor hiking trails all around station. All of them
are on very established marked roots and due to safety concerns you
always have to go with a friend. The longest one, Castle Rock Loop, takes 7 hours to
complete.

These are my two friends Jean and Betsy who went with me on one of my recent trips to castle rock.


I like to run some of the shorter trails. The scenery is beautiful! These photos are from two of my favorite trails: Hut Ridge Loop and the Ob Hill Loop.







We also sometimes get very very lucky and get chosen to take snow machines far off flagged routes. On this trip we followed GPS coordinates to get out to a seal research camp. It was sooo much fun.



There are also lots of sports leagues like bowling, volleyball, dodge ball,
basketball, ultimate frisbee and a dart tournament.













We also have classes: ballroom dancing class, swing dancing class,
belly dancing, yoga classes, karate, tai chi, and jewelry making
class.



Then there are annual races: we host a off road bike race, and four
big running events including a 26 mile marathon out on the frozen
ocean.

As an artist my favorite events are the artsy ones: we have an annual
art fair, a contemporary art gathering called the MAAG (McMurdo
Alternative Art Gallery) which I'll be organizing for next weekend.
This season I'm also helping put on the first ever McMurdo Sound Art
Event called Sonic Antarctica: A concert celebrating the diverse
sounds of this lovely place called "the Ice".

And, if that weren't enough activities to choose from we also have
LOTS of music events and parties. We seem to celebrate every event
possible with a costume party with live music. The bands cover a wide
array of genres: bluegrass, rock, folk, blues, Reggie, and even funk.
They are soo much fun.

On New Years eve we have our biggest music event an OUTDOOR music
festival with a chili cook off and 8-10 live bands. This year the
event happen during a big snow storm but that didn't stop people from
dancing. I included some photos for you.

Galley food, an orange moon, and celestial talking

All in all life down here, on the Ice, has been really sweet. Although, I will admit, those first few hours on the ice were surreal. When I got off the plane, I was giddy with Antarctia. Erebus looming and pluming, the Terra Bus awaiting us. But after 30 seconds in the galley I felt (very very oddly) as if I never left. Everything was known. So many of the same people greeted me with big smiles and familiar embraces, the food tasted the same (it was definitely not better than I remembered), and even the table conversations familiar. It was odd, like being home again, yet in some desolate far off land. Very very odd.

Yet then, at night, it got dark! *grin* The one continual day that I knew Antarctia to embrace broke open to reveal saturated black. I love the darkness down here! I love it.




The darkness feels special, and Winfly weather is wild. We've had some of the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises, some full on crazy Condition 2 (should be 1) storms! Last month, I also watched the lunar eclipse and as a group of us gathered up by the start of the Castle Rock Loop Trail. Dressed in what felt like a dozen layers, with our heads gazing toward the sky, we were all visited by a celestial god!

Photo by unknown artist

Aurora are AMAZING! I've seen them before, only once or twice as a child in Iowa, but this time was absolutely phenomenal. We laid on the ground and watched the white on the horizon grow to fill the whole sky with dancing green. Then the green swirled into pink and bright turquoise. The clouds opened and the stars sparkled above. Blue and green wisps dancing among bright twinkles everywhere. To the north, the moon shown orange. It was awe striking!

Photos by Erik Kawasaki

I am one of the luckiest women in the world!

Intermediary

In between June 23rd and September 22nd....I continued to write to all of you.

The problem is I have many ambitions. *grin* (I definitely haven't failed to post out of lazyness!) My postings are handwritten in my journal, and the photos in my library. At present I'm working to transcribe these onto my computer, match them up with photographs...and proof read them in attempt to catch my miserable spelling before you do (which rarely happens!).

But, in the mean time, I want to get on with telling you about my here and now.

So here is a wee overview to catch you all up to the present. (Don't forget details will come! LOTS OF THEM!)

End of June: After I left Japan, I continued my travels through China. I was based in Beijing, and took a few excursions from here including a stunning trip to the Great Wall in Huang Huay.

July: I traveled (mainly solo) through Thailand and Laos. I hiked through the jungle, lived in tree forts and at a temple, and spent glorious time swimming in Thailand's turquoise waters with J. It was absolutely amazing.

During the end of July I cherished a week with my WHOLE family in Iowa. I love that miraculous week each year!

Photo taken by my Pops, editing done by me.

August: I visited Teeo in Seattle; fell in love with the city and the fellow. Then I spent more cherished time in Iowa AND...

August 18th, I redeployed for Antarctica.

I have a position working in Mac Ops: McMurdo Radio and Communications Operations. I operate High Frequency (HF) and Very High Frequency (VHF) radios and utilize Iridium Satellite telephones to communicate with the South Pole, Scientists and support staff working in remote deep field locations. I also monitor and track flights, making comms with pilots flying helicopters, twin otters, and C130 military planes around the continent.

I love my job and my co-workers.

Down here on the ice August through October is considered Winfly, or Winter Flyover. Three flights are sent down the last week of August to officially end the Antarctic winter and prepare for the Austral summer; I was on the third flight. After these flights we are locked in, no more flights touch the continent until mainbody begins in October. Over the course of 6 weeks the sun very slowly rises, transforming 4 hours of light per day (as it was the first day I arrived) to 24 hours of daylight (as it will be in two short weeks).

Photo by Wade, Pegasus Electrician

The sunsets are phenomenal, the storms fierce, the temperatures frigid and the community cozy.

I am happy here.

Evans Again

Yesterday, I had one of those days, one of those days that remind me why I love this continent.

I went on a working boondoggle, a flagging trip out to Cape Evans.

Photo by Rob, a Line Soo Chief

Webster Dictionary describes a boondoggle as:
“Work or an activity that is pointless but gives the appearance of having value.”
This cracks me up. I especially find humorous the descriptor: pointless, which transforms the phrase 'working boondoggle' into an absolute oxymoron.

Photo by Erik Kawasaki, Network Engineer

My boondoggle: placing flags every 150 yards on a newly mapped sea ice road. I got out of town, back to Barnes Glacier (where I went on my birthday last year), into the Cape Evans Hut again!



Photo by Erik Kawasaki, Network Engineer

AND I got an amazing workout! Holding a running motorized drill and hopping on and off a snow mobile about 100 times while wearing 10lb boots and 4 layers of heavy clothing can keep the heart rate up! *laughter*

Photo by Erik Kawasaki, Network Engineer

We had contests to see which teams can make straight lines, laughing and poking fun at each other the whole way. Plus the –10 below temps really gave me (and the others) a reason to dance around out in the snow…

I had so much fun.

Why Antarctica?

There are many, many moments when I wonder why the hell I live in Antarctica. Usually this question follows a meal at the galley (our dinning hall), especially during winfly when the freshies (fresh vegetables and fruit) are at an all time low and my diet restricts me from seven eigths of the meal. Mush only tastes so good for so long.

Why Antarctica? That’s what I ask on a slow day at work, in our over heated building from the late 70’s; i feel like i could be anywhere in industrial america. Or on my walk home when the ambient temperature outside is 28 below and my hair wet from the gym freezes in the short 100 feet. Of all places, why did I pick the most isolated continent on earth? Sometimes, after I phone conversations Teeo, J, or my family I feel like I am 15,000 miles away…and know that I actually am.



But then, there are other days when nearly every second I am grinning ear to ear, giddy as a gallant hero or a 4-year-old full of laughter. All the details of habituated life are cared for, the creatively constructed parties turn me into a dancing machine...and the people make me laugh (hard!). Plus, the adversity of this lifestyle, the challenges that emerge from the climate, the isolation, and the intense social sphere push me to look inside and ask really big questions. Down here, I feel alive, more playful than I have been since I was a roll-y little tike living in Dyersville, Iowa. And strong. I am reminded of why I love traveling, what I love of life, and that…

I love Antarctica.

Languid

When J described me in Beijing she used the term, languid. This word, just simply the way it feels in my mouth, rolling off my tongue, articulates how relaxed I feel here.

Languid.



In China, I feel flexible. I like the grim. The city's always under construction, always in change. I like the people, breaking all the rules, ironically somehow free in their expressions, very open to us, the foreigners trying desperately to say anything in Mandarin. I like not fretting so much about every penny I spend.

China and Japan are very different from one another. The contrast feels almost intrusive. Japan is an isolated island, developed, rich with tradition, boiling in tradition. China, on the other had, is a massive land. From Beijing, it's boundaries seem so distant, travel time immense, and the change vast.

In Japan, I loved the sereneness, the quietness, the generosity of the people, the saturated etiquette, the gardens, and the onsens. I loved the onsens. (And I love my friends there, which definitely can not be left out!)

But China, china feels so light and pliable. Permeable in comparison. As the dust from the Gobi Desert, and the dirt from construction whirl into the smog, change is literally visible and breathable. Japan in impeccably clean. China doesn't hid its turbulence. It feels absolutely real to me. Like it's flaws are on the outside. I don't feel I can make as many mistakes here. I like that.